• Diana Thompson

The Sexiness of the Winter Olympics

As a writer and a rabid reader, I have been converted to the dark side this February. How exciting is the current television viewing?

I have to say that four years down the track, once again I‘ve been seduced by the Winter Olympics currently being broadcast from Pyeong Chang, South Korea. It’s by far the sexiest viewing on TV in quite some time, and that’s despite everyone being fully clothed, helmeted and faces covered in huge ski goggles. In short, the games are a full on adrenaline rush filled with excitement and danger. They have everything - model worthy young men and fearless, driven women - all at the top of their fields.

I think most viewers would agree with me, based on the sheer excitement scale these games outrank the regular Olympics every single time. Not only are these fabulous young Olympians pitting themselves against the elements of ice and snow, but almost every event is reliant upon sharp and unforgiving equipment. There are razor edged skates, sharply honed skis, often combined with pointy ended stocks, snowboards and wickedly dangerous sleds. How many of us hold our breaths during the skating when fingers come so close to being sliced off before our very eyes? In almost all disciplines, barring “curling” where one might inadvertently trip and face plant, possibly breaking a nose, most competitors are only inches away from serious injury.

It’s not that I relish blood and gore. If that was the case I would have progressed further than the third episode in the first “Game of Thrones” series. (Seriously, a lot of what happens in that particular show is just too cruel and gruesome to watch.) However, I’m constantly on the edge of my seat watching the Olympics, knowing that it can all go to hell in the blink of an eye.

Take the ski jump for instance. I watched with awe as one after another slid down that dangerously long and steep ramp and took flight, hands free and no parachute included. However, each and every one wore a crash helmet. I suspect it’s more than likely cosmetic as it sure ain’t going to help if you come a cropper from way up there. As it’s been said before - if we were meant to fly “God would have given us wings”.

How about the luge? Sliding down an ice tube feet first at speeds up to 140 kms an hour. Or worse the “skeleton”, speeding down head first, just to test the nerves. I can’t quite get my head around why anyone in their right mind would choose to do this sport. I’ve watched this event with trepidation, visions of a grasshopper whacking into a windscreen at 100 kms an hour always hovering in the back of my mind.

I digress. Back to the sexier aspects of the games. Take the men’s ice hockey for instance. The “Fast and the Furious” on ice- two teams of alpha males not only skating rings around each other but taking no prisoners. The sheer physicality of the players as they slam each other up against the perspex walls of the rink is a sight to behold. And how about the thighs on all these athletes? Both the men and the women put Colonel Sanders to shame. Be it the moguls or downhill racing- the thighs have it!

We swap from the gnarly antics of the super cool snowboarders to the gymnastic abilities of the aerialists, trampolining through the air, knowing full well that there will be no the soft landing. It never ceases to amaze me how fearless and gutsy these competitors are. How the hell do you tell up from down?

We are presented with an endless variety of different events to keep us on the edge of our seats. Although some, despite the physical prowess of the competitors, are perhaps not as sexy as the adrenaline junkies we can’t take our eyes off. Just last night I watched the cross country skiing whilst the sound was muted on the television and what I observed was a gaggle of stick like figures, arms waving madly, jostling for position.

Whilst I applaud the strength and stamina of the ice skaters and the team pursuit, these are perhaps the least sexy of the events, making the competitors look like groups of multi-coloured condoms chasing each other around with no end in sight.

Certainly in the sexy department, a particular favourite is the ice dancing, a sensuous extension of the ice skating, where the couples have complete trust in each other and are so incredibly synchronised, joined at the hip almost, a stunning foreplay of sorts.

Such a smorgasbord of voyeuristic viewing. Given the number of condoms supplied to every competitor at these games, I think every one of my readers would agree with me.

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